Brutal kinda love...

Watched that movie John Q at Kero's house today...After morning service n lunch with the inter group, Zoe dropped off Emily n Lydia...and she dropped us home. Guess what... me n mom forgot our house keys, Martin and Nanat already left for evening service, mrk tugas.... *VRY NICE* So, after several unsuccessful attempts of "breaking in my own house from the back window" by zoe n me...we finally gave up, n stranded at Ann n Kero's till evening service ended. -.-"

Niweiz, that John Q story was amazing... Story about a dad whose son had a heart failure, and about to die within days unless he got immediate heart transplant. The only problem was the heart transplant cost about $250,000 and the Pain-In-The-Butt hospital needed $75,000 downpayment to even get the kid's name ON THE LIST to get a donor... This is based on a true story by the way, which depicts how the sucky HMO insurance in the U.S works! No money - No help!

Soon this John Q guy (Denzel Washington) did whatever he can to come up with $75 K within days. He sold all his furniture, sold his diamond rings, emptied his bank account, called left and right for donations, applied for financial aids, did some appeal to get the INSURANCE to cover. Still, he only came up with NOT EVEN HALF OF IT! n soon, he came up with brutal idea of "hi-jacking" the hospital and kept some hostages, until he had his wish granted- just for his son to get some help.

Finally, the touching part was when the doctors finally agreed to do the surgery, but there was only one problem left: They didn't have any matching donor. This part really striked me: when John Q suddenly pulled out his gun, and said, "I'll die, and give away MY heart to be transplanted into Mikey's, we're both B positive"...
He literally pointed his gun towards his head....
He was ready to die in the place of his son...

(The rest of the story you gotta watch it by urself!!)

When I watched this movie.... somehow, the kinda love that John Q had for his kiddo looked familiar... The kind of love that is IRRATIONAL... The kind that's not only giving, but also SACRIFICIAL. The kinda love that'd do ANYTHING, to a certain extent of GIVING UP HIS OWN LIFE, just to see the boy lives. An ABANDONED kinda LOVE that doesn't care about what the world says, to have literally EVERYBODY against you, mock you, call you crazy. The only thing he knew was: "I LOVE MY SON, AND I WILL DO ANYTHING, ANYTHING!! TO KEEP HIM ALIVE!" The kind of love that's so strong, so aggressive...

A brutal kinda love...
The Father kinda love...
OUR Father's kinda love...

Seeing the boy sleeping helplessly as he waited for the heart transplant with IVs all over his body, his tension dropped as he innocently waited for a donor... Despite his failing body...his heart was at rest. Somehow he knew that his dad will come through for him. He is RIGHT NOW fighting for his life. His dad will do anything to sustain him... to keep him alive and well. Somehow he knew his dad would get him through this...

An innocent child's kinda trust...
A helpless, trusting child's kinda faith...
A faith like a child?

Do we have that kind of faith..?
Do we know, that despite our "failing" situations,
our DAD is fighting and literally doing EVERYTHING to keep us alive and well, RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT? He is literally praying, making a way, interceding, doing anything, to make u well.
Do we know that in fact, He has already DIED in our place, so that we don't have to suffer?

God was actually standing in front of the devil who was about to take our lives away,
pulling out His gun to his head and said: "I'll die in her place, I'll give my own live, WHATEVER IT TAKES, as long as you let her go, and let her live!"

Such a strong, sacrificial love...
Such an aggresive, irrational love...
a Brutal kinda love...
a Father kinda love...

“He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” (Romans 8:32)

5 happiest things...

Asked my hubby before bed today....what's ur TOP 5 things in life that can make u super happy?

On top of my head...my answers were:

1. Makan Indomie Goreng without any guilt,
2. Watching Little Mermaid and Cinderella again, singing along wit their cheesy songs.. heehee
3. Having "brutally honest deep talks"wit my girls over coffee @ starbucks, pandex, anywhere..
4. To get a card with heartfelt notes inside.... (i dont really care about the presents, really)
5. Watching monday nite football, or super funny DVDs wit Martin... Drillbit Taylor, Get smart won our funniest award this year.

Martin's were...
1. To be massaged (Hohoho)
2. To own and to drive expensive sports car,
3. To have a COOL gadget and TOY that nobody else owns..
4. (thinking of another expensive n difficult stuff to do)
5. (also still thinking)

Compared to his... mine was so..... cheap -.-" n effortless.
Got to think of a more expensive and valuable ones...
I guess I'm just easily entertained, and very very very low maintenance.
I bet he'll faint if my answers contained a Gucci bag and Louboutine shoes...

Mighty vs. Weak

There are times when we experience "spiritual high",
Feels like we're the Mighty Warrior of God,
This passion inside us is uncontainable,
We love God more than anything else and we want to do more for God's Kingdom, We can hear Him speak everyday,
We feel this "Tight Bond" with our Father, seems like Nothing can ever come between us...

There are also times when we experience the "low tide" of our walk with God,
Like today... I'm in one of those days...
I felt fearful, shaky, and not knowing what's going to happen next.
The idea of child-bearing is so overwhelming,
I just sat there in my room and said, "God I can't do it, I'm scared, and I need You..."

Then just like a film, God gave me a flash back, of the times when I felt "MIGHTY" in my life,
I saw myself, walking from village to village in Summer Mission trips,
Sleeping only 3 hours a day, waking up early in the morning,
Healing and praying for the sick, Jumping up and down in Mission Concerts,
Shouting for Joy in the midst of a million people in Ambon and Timor...
The excitement and thrill of bringing people to Jesus...
I looked strong...and valiant.

Then after that, in the film, God also gave me a flash back of my "SO NOT MIGHTY" times,
There I saw myself sitting hopelessly in my room after Mario's death...I felt so weak....
I sat on the floor next to my bed, crying out to God,
I was crushed...depressed...
I asked..."God why is it so hard...? Our wedding is in 4 months, yet you take one of the precious person in our lives..." I was wailing and whining...
Until suddenly out of nowhere, I felt a heavy presence of God...It was like God was wrapping His arms around me...and soon I heard a whisper, "Joy, I'm sorry it's painful, but everything will turn out good for those who loves Me"....
My cry of misery turns into a cry of an overwhelming peace..and joy...
I felt warm...
It was almost like my Daddy was putting a security blanket over my cold heart.
There in my bedroom floor, I experience His quiet love and assurance.
Indeed, He is close to the broken hearted n those crushed in spirit.

Then after the "flashback"was over...God spoke to me again during my quiet time today,
"Joy, which one do you think I cherish more, the time when you are Mighty...all strong and powerful, OR the time when you are weak? U know, I really2 cherish the time when you are powerless so I can show My power through you. I cherish the time when you depend 100% on my strength...lean on My chest, so I can quiet you with My love. I cherish the time when you cried out to me in your darkest hour...I cherish our "bedroom moments"...
I love you not only when you are Mighty, but also when you are fearful and weak, because when you are weak, I am Mighty to Save"

[so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttt T_T ]

Once again, I cried of His assurance and understanding... what a powerful GOD He is!!!

Zephaniah 3:16-17 said:
"Do not fear, O Zion, do not let your hands hang limp.
The Lord Your God is with you,
He is Mighty to Save!
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing...
The sorrows of the appointed feasts, I will remove from you.."

INDEED, OUR GOD IS MIGHTY TO SAVE!
In this verse, God said: "Do not fear..." It seems like He understands that one day,we are going to be FEARFUL, WEAK, and limping...He knows that one day, we are going to be UN-MIGHTY! He doesn't expect us to be MIGHTY all the time. :)
That's why He assured us in verse 17: The Lord your God is with you, despite ur situation.
He is the God of Despite. He is MIGHTY TO SAVE!

And although we are weak, fearful, and when our hands hang limp..still in verse 17 He promised: I WILL TAKE GREAT DELIGHT IN YOU, QUIET YOU WITH MY LOVE, and REJOICE OVER YOU WITH SINGING! (verse 17)......I am speechlesss......

How great is our GOD!!!

Gilaa tuhan sih bae buangetttttttttttttttt................................................terharu terus tiap hari T_T
ini nih yg bikin gw jadi MELLOW!!!!!!!!!!how can u NOT be mellow of such a SWEET and ROMANTIC GOD???!???!!!!

God u know my needs, U know my fears,
Take all of me..Use me, until I am no more....

What drives your life?

Martin's question to all of us the previous weeks intrigued me and kept me thinking.

What drives my life?
Driving is a term used for a car, a taxi, a bus.
What drives them, and keep them moving are the engine, the person behind the wheels.
These factors decide where the car is going...

Back to the question, what drives MY life?
What factors keep my life moving?
What factors keep me going despite the rains and shines of life?
What factors decide where my life is going?
What's my "engine"?

I am now 3 weeks away from our first baby's arrival.
My brain's filled with all kinds of excitement n twists of anxieties.
Plus all the nerve-wrecking, throat-choking "what ifs" that are flushing down my systems day and nite :P

Yet everyday my heart keeps pounding with excitement n unexplainable rushes of JOY.
Somehow there's something inside me that keeps stirring,
driving me, MOVING me to keep doing what I'm supposed to do,
not stopping despite of situations happening around me and INSIDE me.

Then it hits me.
This is "that" thing that drives my life.
This is "that" thing called PASSION.
This is my "engine"...

My passion is to see a person with a broken past... worshiping God like there's no tomorrow.
My passion is to see a person with self confidence issue in the past, can worship lead like crazy for God on the stage...
My passion is to see a person, coming from a broken family, can now be CHANGED into a person who can encourage, entertain, and uplift d broken spirits, bringing them one step closer to Jesus.

My passion is to see people with broken past, CHANGED to become History Makers for Christ.

My passion is...to do whatever it takes, whatever the cost is...
to bring people to Jesus, one step at a time.
The Jesus who will change them from the inside out.
Not a temporary change that will not last,
but a lasting change..that they'll bring to eternity.
Until one day, when I meet them in the heaven's door,
they'll smile at me and say:
"Hey Joy, we made it. Thank you! :)"

That's my definition of a true Joy.
Will do it for the rest of my life, won't stop til the day I die.
That's the thing that drives my life. :)

What drives yours?